Made me cry

Challenging Myself

I feel really sad.
A deep churning sadness.
A very familiar and crushing mix of shame, frustration and exhaustion.

It’s a mix of feelings I can’t remember ever not being present. Experience tells me these feelings won’t last with the … read more

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A Tale of Tears and Two Countries

I realised in the cab on the way back from Heathrow that there aren’t many flights that I’ve done without Leftwing Idiot. On most journeys I’ve had a dedicated support worker too, but Leftwing Idiot’s almost always been there … read more

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Pad-emonium

A few weeks ago I wrote about my tricky appointment with the local continence nurse. I was there to get a prescription for pads to help me manage some of the issues I’ve been having with my bladder. Towards … read more

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Water Works

My neuro urology appointment (a specialism within medicine that looks after how the bladder and brain work together) got off to a very wet start this morning. But the liquid being spilt wasn’t wee, it was tears.

I’ve been having … read more

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The Brilliant Blue Time Machine

I’ve been in bed for about five minutes and my body’s just starting to relax, with my incredibly soft duvet wrapped around me. But just before I slid into bed I had an unexpectedly emotional moment.

I’d been feeling quite … read more

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Crawl of Shame

We’ve been in Zurich for the last few days. The flight back yesterday morning was only an hour and twenty minutes. But for a wheelchair user flying is nearly always stressful and yesterday’s flight was no exception.

For the last … read more

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Can You Stop It?

Our last morning in Portland was a bright one. We enjoyed a relaxed start, packing slowly and getting ready for the long trip back to the UK. By mid-afternoon we were on the first leg of our journey, a short … read more

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A Sorry Day

When I was at college I used to find seminars really stressful. When I wasn’t worrying about the noises and movements I was making I was battling to stay awake. Dark, warm rooms and the hypnotic whir of a projector … read more

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Melancholy Magic

In thirty minutes Lily will arrive to do my night support and as soon as she gets here we’re going to head straight out for a swim. But by the time she gets here I want to be out of … read more

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“2017, Year of the Oscillating Grin”

I’m quite surprised to find myself at the last day of 2017. There are a million clichés about time passing quickly, and I’m loath to mention any of them, but this year really does feel as if it’s gone by … read more

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