I feel really sad.
A deep churning sadness.
A very familiar and crushing mix of shame, frustration and exhaustion.
It’s a mix of feelings I can’t remember ever not being present. Experience tells me these feelings won’t last with the … read more
I realised in the cab on the way back from Heathrow that there aren’t many flights that I’ve done without Leftwing Idiot. On most journeys I’ve had a dedicated support worker too, but Leftwing Idiot’s almost always been there … read more
A few weeks ago I wrote about my tricky appointment with the local continence nurse. I was there to get a prescription for pads to help me manage some of the issues I’ve been having with my bladder. Towards … read more
My neuro urology appointment (a specialism within medicine that looks after how the bladder and brain work together) got off to a very wet start this morning. But the liquid being spilt wasn’t wee, it was tears.
I’ve been having … read more
I’ve been in bed for about five minutes and my body’s just starting to relax, with my incredibly soft duvet wrapped around me. But just before I slid into bed I had an unexpectedly emotional moment.
I’d been feeling quite … read more
We’ve been in Zurich for the last few days. The flight back yesterday morning was only an hour and twenty minutes. But for a wheelchair user flying is nearly always stressful and yesterday’s flight was no exception.
For the last … read more
Our last morning in Portland was a bright one. We enjoyed a relaxed start, packing slowly and getting ready for the long trip back to the UK. By mid-afternoon we were on the first leg of our journey, a short … read more
When I was at college I used to find seminars really stressful. When I wasn’t worrying about the noises and movements I was making I was battling to stay awake. Dark, warm rooms and the hypnotic whir of a projector … read more
In thirty minutes Lily will arrive to do my night support and as soon as she gets here we’re going to head straight out for a swim. But by the time she gets here I want to be out of … read more
I’m quite surprised to find myself at the last day of 2017. There are a million clichés about time passing quickly, and I’m loath to mention any of them, but this year really does feel as if it’s gone by … read more