For the last few years I’ve been struggling with feeling sick a lot and there was a long period when I used be sick every time I ate anything. A few months ago a dietician at my local hospital put me on a very restricted diet to try and work out whether there are particular foods that are causing the problem.…

Yesterday something incredible happened – Fat Sister’s bump became a baby.

I’m now the exceptionally proud aunty of a beautiful wiggly niece.

Fat Sister, King Russell and the little wiggle are all doing well.

As I held her in my arms for the first time, I looked down at her and ticced:

“You’re parents fucked to make you.”…

We’re seven days into December and it’s hard to escape the festive preparations, with emotive TV adverts, recipes for mince pies at every turn, and Christmas songs piped relentlessly into shops and radios across the country.

True to form my tics have absorbed all this input, mashed it about a bit and released it back into the world in the form of involuntary song.…

A few weeks ago I wrote about a strange and repetitive version of Kumbaya my tics came up with. Well, they’ve been at it again, and this version’s a bit more – how can I way put it? – groiny!

Boing, boing, boing, my groin,
Boing, boing, boing.…

After last night’s fantastic final performance of Backstage in Biscuit Land that ended with a standing ovation, we’re now on our way back to the UK. We’ve had a wonderful time, the country’s beautiful and we’ve been made very welcome.

Sure, it took us a while to get used to Norwegian currency, the Krone, and to the cost of things – compared to the UK it’s very expensive!…

I know it’s not Saturday, but it was yesterday and my tics seemed aware of that when they chose to repurpose Whigfield’s 1994 classic ‘Saturday Night.’ The tune stayed the same but the lyrics were given a radical update.

“Saturday night and your dog is getting high,
With your mummy.…

This’ll be a quick post – I’m in the middle of packing for the Shambala Festival. We leave tomorrow and I’m really excited about being back at one of my favourite places.

If you’re heading there yourself, catch me on stage with Captain Hotknives at the Social Club, on Friday at 5.00pm and on Sunday at 5.15pm.…

In a few moments I’m off to join a big ‘Anti Austerity’ demonstration organised by The People’s Assembly – I’ll fill you in when I get back. But first, here’s a musical interlude.

Earlier this morning, when I was getting ready for the day, my tics sprang into action with this little song:

“Your mum is just a sheep dog,
Your mum is just a bear,
Floating on the majesty of
Donald Trump’s hair.”…

This morning while I was in the shower a new ticced song emerged:

“Legend of the Phoenix,
Legends of the Fall,
But Legend of the Sheepdog is the greatest of them all.”

I wasn’t acquainted with any of these legends, though the first two did sound a bit familiar.…

This morning I emerged from the shower with a brand new ticced song. The words are:

“Take a look inside the sheep and ask yourself the truth, are donkeys the best at doing moos?”

Take a Look

The tune’s really familiar but I can’t name it.…