Yesterday was National Poetry Day. The second poem I ever learnt by heart was about peas:

‘I eat my peas with honey;
I’ve done it all my life.
It makes the peas taste funny,
But it keeps them on the knife.’…

I was browsing online just now when a headline suddenly grabbed my attention, and it’s one I feel compelled to share with you:

‘World’s Most Valuable Biscuit Up For Auction’

The article tells the incredible tale of a biscuit that survived the sinking of the Titanic over a hundred years ago and was up for sale.…

We’ve been away in Sweden for a few days with Backstage In Biscuit Land and have come home to the national carrier bag crisis. Predictably my tics are taking the nation’s plight very seriously:

“Plastic bag, dancing in the wind, get a job.”…

It’s late, I’m exhausted, but I’m happy. Tonight Backstage In Biscuit Land opened at the Barbican’s Pit Theatre. The Barbican Centre has been part of my life since I was tiny. In fact I was born at Bart’s Hospital, which is pretty much in it’s it shadow.…

For reasons that are too tasteless to describe here, this post is dedicated to a poor defenceless porker and a well-known wild boar.

When Ed Miliband attempted to eat a bacon sandwich a while back he was at least trying to get the pig into his mouth, and not the other way round.…

Once a week when I was at primary school our class used do the short walk through 1980s Clerkenwell to the Barbican Centre Children’s Library. Every time we got to the familiar brutalist brick paths, which have a painted yellow line leading all the way to library, we’d make jokes about following the yellow brick road.…

Tonight we welcomed our last Edinburgh audience into Biscuit Land. It was an amazing show – in the first few minutes Teddy Ruxpin got run over on my command by Euan of brilliant Euan’s Guide fame, I bit the magpie that sits on the back of my chair during the show, and Chopin’s monologue, which I’ve heard many times before, moved me all over again.…

I’ve just come off stage after my first ever stand-up comedy gig. This is daunting enough for anyone at the best of times, but thanks to my tics I never know what I’m about to say next. There’s an element of Tourettes that’s saying the least appropriate thing in any situation – so because my mum and dad were in the audience, a lot of my set turned out to be about Fat Sister’s sex life.…

This time next week Leftwing Idiot and I will be jumping on a train and heading up to Edinburgh for the Fringe Festival. All being well, Jess Mabel Jones (AKA Chopin) and our producer, Jolie, will meet us at the station.…

Will and I spent this weekend in Cardiff with the wonderful Captain Hotknives at Unity Festival. It’s an inclusive and accessible arts festival, organised by Hijinx Theatre, that showcases a wide variety of work made by disabled and non-disabled artists from across the world.…