Proud parents often share photos of their adorable offspring achieving significant milestones.

Earlier today Leftwing Idiot sent me a photo of his beautiful baby geranium that’s just had its first flowers.

Baby G’s the first to grow from seed from Leftwing Idiot’s original plant, and my tics marked the occasion in their usual style:

“Baby geranium, do you want some custard?”…

This morning we arrived bright and early at the Skirball Cultural Centre, our LA venue, to load in our show. The space is amazing and we were made incredibly welcome straight away. By mid-afternoon we’d finished setting up so we headed over to West Hollywood to explore.…

Yesterday we said goodbye to Rachel – a sad moment in a happy tour. Today we said goodbye to San Francisco and said hello to Los Angeles.

We arrived in the late afternoon and the place was bathed in Californian sun.…

I woke up suddenly this morning with early morning sunlight pouring into my bedroom through a gap in the blind. I opened my eyes, and before I even had time to register the view my tics said:

“Good morning, yellow roses.”…

I woke up this morning with the gloomy feeling you get from having undertaken some sort of needlessly self-destructive activity – a potent mix of unhappiness and guilt. This was compounded by knowing that I’d been warned about the risks, but that I’d done it anyway.…

It’s not every day that I arrange to meet someone I’ve never met before in our tour bus in a deserted car park in mid-Wales. But it’s not everyday that I’m at the Machynlleth Comedy Festival in Wales having being interviewed by stand-up legend Arthur Smith.…

Lying in bed last night I was exceptionally tired but finding it hard to sleep because of my wriggly body. My blind was open a little and the orange light from the lamp-post outside was creeping in through the gap.

Tired of shouting at the lamp-post I turned over and faced the wall.…

The other day I wrote about a sudden influx of new ‘W’- based tics and songs. The latest addition to the collection, and my personal favourite, sung loosely to the tune of Santa Claus is coming to town, is this:

“I’m waving at cats,
I’m waving at cats,
I’m waving at cats but they’re not waving back,
I’m gonna just keep waving at cats.”…

Over the last few weeks a new wave of vocal tics has been sneaking its way into my repertoire, and weirdly all of them begin with W:

“Wave”
“Weevil”
“WAV File”

As well as getting into my ticced vocabulary as single words they’re also emerging in new ticced songs, including the highly catchy:

“I’m a WAV file,
WAV file,
I’m a little WAV file,
WAV file.”…

David Cameron’s been in the news a lot this week, but for all the wrong reasons. This time it’s not because of inappropriate antics with farmyard animals, but because of leaked papers relating to questionable offshore investments, suggesting once again that we’re not all in it together, as he likes to claim.…