You Take the High Road

This morning I woke up late but cheerful. I don’t usually work on Saturdays but today I did because I was covering for a colleague. For no clear reason my tics decided it would be a good morning for a Tourettes re-working of a traditional Scottish song, The Bonnie Bonnie Banks O’ Loch Lomond, so as I rushed about getting ready, Zoë, my support worker, frantically scribbled down my new lyrics. Here they are:

“You take the sheepdog and I’ll take the hedgehog, and bears will be in Scotland before you.”

“You take Fred Astaire and I’ll take the band, and I’ll be in Scotland before you.”

“I’ll take the Lamborghini, you take the shed, and I’ll be in Scotland before you.”

“You take the spatula and I’ll take the sheepdog, and horses will be horses before you.”

“You take the low dog and I’ll take the high dog, and otters will be sexy before you.”

“I’ll take the bandwidth and you take the hedge-fund, and bandits will bow down before you.”

“You take the sand dune and I’ll take the plankton and bears will be bears before you.”

“You take the high sheep and I’ll take the funny little sheep, and there will be a party in Scotland before you.”

“You take the Mormons and I’ll take the Normans, and there’ll be a biscuit before you.”

“You take the llama and I’ll take the zebra, and Craig David is laid out before you.”

“You take the high road and I’ll take the low road and John O’Groats will be in Scotland before you.”

The song died down several times only to pop back unexpectedly later on. But now, after a busy day and an even busier week, the only path I’m really interested in is the one that leads to bed.

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