This tic made Leftwing Idiot laugh so much he wasn’t able to speak for several minutes. It’s clearly Tourettes celebrating the start of National Carers Week, which began yesterday.

This evening after another day of dismantling the Walter Segal building a group of us made a bonfire and sat and relaxed together. When some of the wood popped, and sparks crackled up into the air, I ticced “It’s fire sperm, don’t get pregnant!”…

Sometimes the sensation of my tics is so strong that when people are holding onto me I find difficult to imagine they can’t feel it too.

“Grout your doorknob and spin around.”

Simple. You risk getting an on the spot fine of £80.

During June, Barnsley police are having a crackdown on swearing in public. I’m one of the 10% of people with Tourettes who swear involuntarily, so I took a particular interest in this story.…

I’ve just recorded a new voicemail greeting for my phone. I made several attempts at getting it tic-free but in the end I settled for a message that consisted of twelve words and eight ‘biscuits’.

That’s a ratio of 1.5:1.0

I went to the pub this evening with Harry, Ollie, Fat Sister and King Russell. I didn’t stay long though because I was wriggling all over the place. The pub’s only five minutes from the lair so I thought I’d be able to make it back on my own.…

I’ve mentioned the amazing treatment I’ve been having recently at Kings College Hospital. Since I injured my ankle due to a tic, I’ve had help from several different departments there, and the care has been fantastic. This morning I went for an orthotics appointment, arranged by my physiotherapist.…

Now the savage cuts being inflicted by David Cameron on his Big Society are starting to bite, my tics are fighting back with some interesting new training opportunities:

“Lizard comprehension reading scheme.”
“Harry Potter empowerment scheme.”
“Pocahontas allergy training scheme.”
“Clairvoyant ambassadors’ programme.”…

Leftwing Idiot had been doing some DIY this morning and he’d left a saw on the table. I started ticcing, “I know where the saw is” to the tune of I Came, I Saw, I Conga’d.

I asked him to put the saw out of reach, but my tic kept on going and it didn’t stop even when he’d hidden it completely.