I woke in a reflective mood this morning. The incident I’d witnessed yesterday was still on my mind and I’d also had an argument with Leftwing Idiot on the phone last night that left me feeling upset.
Strangely I felt reassured by the sadness, or more specifically, by my reaction to it.
I’ve written before about how heightened emotion can make my tics and impulsive behaviour go into overdrive. When this is triggered by happiness or excitement it doesn’t really bother me, but when it’s caused by frustration or annoyance I find it harder to manage, as I imagine everyone else does too.
Overreaction to tiny stresses rarely reflects how I’m actually feeling, but it embarrasses me in a way I find hard to move on from.
Weirdly though, when I’m genuinely upset I rarely overreact. So, although it’s never great to be properly sad, I did find it useful this morning to remind myself of the difference between my real feelings and the automatic, exaggerated responses that I sometimes experience.
Despite my mood, I had a productive day and felt much more settled by the afternoon, and this evening I hung out with Bunny. Together we took relaxation to blissful levels: a delicious dinner, a beautiful hot chocolate, a quick round of the splendid strategy board game Blokus, followed by bed and a book.
I’m going to stop writing and start reading now. Here’s a picture of the cosy scene in the room next to mine.