The Ten Ticced Commandments

You may remember some months ago I offered you my Thought for the Day. Rather than talking from a faith perspective I chose to share my thoughts from a tic perspective. You can listen to the results below:

 

 

Today being a Sunday I thought I should offer you something more traditional and, well, biblical. What better place to start than the Old Testament?

So please pay attention as I bring you the ten ticced commandments:

“Thou shalt not exfoliate with rat poison.
Thou shalt not sleep with your slippers on your ears.
Thou shalt not weld your mother to your bed.
Thou shalt not sandpaper a horse until it looks like a fridge.
Thou shalt not wrap Christmas presents in August.
Thou shalt not milk avocados and rub it in your pants with lime.
Thou shalt not blink too much on Saturdays.
Thou shalt shout ‘Bears’ from the rooftops.
Thou shalt not go to supermarkets that sell products made by children.
Thou shalt not fuck goats.”

Unusually for ticced advice this all seems pretty sensible. Almost.

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