Well, it’s been over a week and my potentially problematic ‘Alan fucks buses’ tic is showing no sign of letting up. In fact, it’s expanding. I now have a long list of other accusations of what else Alan’s slept with that would almost certainly result in a long prison sentence (and or a trip to hospital) if any of them turned out to be true.
So, in addition to buses, and in no particular order, Alan also fucks….
A model of Rumpelstiltskin
The Crimean War
The Metropolitan Line
Denis Thatcher’s corpse
A nut roast with chocolate sauce on
Sue Perkins in a haberdashery
The mirror ball
Fourteen blades of grass at once
The Turin shroud
And last but not least…