What Else, Alan?

Well, it’s been over a week and my potentially problematic ‘Alan fucks buses’ tic is showing no sign of letting up. In fact, it’s expanding. I now have a long list of other accusations of what else Alan’s slept with that would almost certainly result in a long prison sentence (and or a trip to hospital) if any of them turned out to be true.

So, in addition to buses, and in no particular order, Alan also fucks….

Light bulbs
Gardening implements
A model of Rumpelstiltskin
Iridescent paint
The Crimean War
The Metropolitan Line
Denis Thatcher’s corpse
A nut roast with chocolate sauce on
Mahatma Gandhi
Sue Perkins in a haberdashery
The mirror ball
A toaster
Postman Pat
Fourteen blades of grass at once
The Turin shroud

And last but not least…


One response to What Else, Alan?

  1. ocdguyocdguyocdguy says:

    Hmmm…Alan…sexually-liberated though he may be has…I suspect…1 or 2 problems 😉

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