Yesterday I wrote about the amazing meals my friends and support workers have been preparing for me. Tonight, hanging out with Zoë, I ticced, “Let’s cook with biscuits and sheep.” My tics then went on to describe how you’d do this. So incase you were wondering, here’s the recipe:

How to Make a Biscuit Bear

Ingredients
Ketchup
Donkeys
Cup of pony hair
Michael Aspel’s love
14g of flower fairies
Bear shaped hat
Lipstick speared over your face

Method
Rub Michael Aspel’s fingers
Pound down your mum
Stir for 14 seconds and 4 bits
Add milk
Cook at 14 degrees disco for 4 hours
Ice with sheep, use the sheep like a squeezy
Decorate with tinsel

Serve
Serve hot with a dollop of ketchup.

I doubt Delia’s quaking in her boots, but if you decide to give this recipe a try, let me know how it turns out. Just don’t eat it.