Monthly Archives: May 2011

What happens if you swear in Barnsley?

Simple. You risk getting an on the spot fine of £80.

During June, Barnsley police are having a crackdown on swearing in public. I’m one of the 10% of people with Tourettes who swear involuntarily, so I took a particular … read more

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All Quiet at the Lair

The lair suddenly seems massive and echoey. The piles of stuff that have been a feature for the last month have all gone. Fat Sister and King Russell moved out yesterday and our friends Harry and Ollie moved out last … read more

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Word to Tic Ratio

I’ve just recorded a new voicemail greeting for my phone. I made several attempts at getting it tic-free but in the end I settled for a message that consisted of twelve words and eight ‘biscuits’.

That’s a ratio of 1.5:1.0… read more

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Identified by Biscuit

I went shopping earlier to get a dress for Fat Sister’s wedding. While I was browsing I heard someone calling my name. It was my friend Hannah – she greeted me enthusiastically and said, “I heard the ‘biscuits’ and knew … read more

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I went to the pub this evening with Harry, Ollie, Fat Sister and King Russell. I didn’t stay long though because I was wriggling all over the place. The pub’s only five minutes from the lair so I thought I’d … read more

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Wall of Sound

I woke up this morning in a reflective mood. Last night along with Leftwing Idiot and Poppy, I saw Mark Thomas’s incredible and thought provoking show, Extreme Rambling – Walking the Wall, currently in its last few days at the … read more

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I’ve mentioned the amazing treatment I’ve been having recently at Kings College Hospital. Since I injured my ankle due to a tic, I’ve had help from several different departments there, and the care has been fantastic. This morning I … read more

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Training Opportunities

Now the savage cuts being inflicted by David Cameron on his Big Society are starting to bite, my tics are fighting back with some interesting new training opportunities:

“Lizard comprehension reading scheme.”
“Harry Potter empowerment scheme.”
“Pocahontas allergy training scheme.”… read more

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Cushion Collision

This evening while I was watching telly at home I started to tic vigorously, throwing my head back against the wall. Fat Sister and Ollie acted swiftly and simultaneously, grabbing cushions and thrusting them behind my head. Unfortunately their action … read more

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“I Know Where The Saw Is”

Leftwing Idiot had been doing some DIY this morning and he’d left a saw on the table. I started ticcing, “I know where the saw is” to the tune of I Came, I Saw, I Conga’d.

I asked him … read more

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