What Would Make Your Life Better?

I was sitting outside a café, having breakfast with Leftwing Idiot. While we were talking he asked, “What would make your life better?” Before I could give a serious answer I ticced, “Not being a squirrel”. He found this hilarious, asked the question again and got the following answers:

“A baby.”

“A piece of piss.”

“A jack-knife.”

“Fairy tits.”

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