Made me laugh

Salad Days

This morning my carer Anna pointed out that I’ve started ticcing the word ‘Salad’ quite regularly recently. This was making her laugh because it’s a much healthier alternative to ‘Biscuit’.

I’ve been ticcing ‘Biscuit’ for several years now and I… read more

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The Lamp-Post’s Resolve

January’s a time for health kicks, but the mid-point of the month is often the moment when resolve starts to flag. This morning my tics were well aware of this when they started quizzing the lamp-post about its wellbeing:… read more

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Involuntary Poems About Testis

“Your mother was a testicle,
Your father was a bear,
Between them they had a lot of flowing facial hair.”

“Electrical testicle, tearing up the night,
Glowing brighter than a lamp-post in a knight’s 10-denier tights.”

“Imagine… read more

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Things I Haven’t Yet Fucked

I had a really rocky ‘ticcing fit’ earlier today. Will was supporting me, and my work friend Kyle came to help as well. As the fit drew to a close and my speech returned so did my vocal tics… read more

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Creative Encounters of An Improvised Kind

This’ll be brief – it’s late and I’ve only just got home. I need to have some dinner before heading to bed but I wanted to write down my first thoughts about the evening I’ve just had before they fade.… read more

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Maths Problem

Touretteshero is left alone in her bedroom with a price gun.

The price sticker reads £1.50

The total value of Touretteshero’s head when Will returns from brushing his teeth is £16.50

How many £1.50 labels are on Touretteshero’s hair and… read more

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My friend Zoë’s been one of my support workers for over two years. We know each other really well and I feel happy and safe when I’m with her. I often affectionately call her ‘Zo-bags’ and earlier today this name… read more

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Monkey for a Day

I was hanging out with Leftwing Idiot and Kyle at work today. The three of us go back a long way and we have a well-established history of doing silly voices together.

On our way back from lunch it was… read more

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Checking In with the Lamp-Post

For three years, from when I moved into the castle, I’ve been happily chatting to, advising and teasing the lamp-post I can see from my bedroom window. A year and a day ago I wrote a blog postread more

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Alan Ate My Falafel

Leftwing Idiot, Will, Fran and I all travelled home from work yesterday in a cab. Leftwing Idiot was sitting in the front and half way through the journey, completely out of the blue, he said ‘Alan ate my falafel.’

We… read more

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