Affirmations for The End Times

I was chatting earlier with a friend who’s having a tough time, and it got me thinking about affirmations, by which I mean positive statements that you say out loud to help overcome negative thoughts.

I looked some up, and then my tics immediately responded with their own suggestions. It seemed right that my affirmations should reflect my unusual neurology – unlike the ones I’d found which all felt neuro-typical. My ticced affirmations also seemed strangely suited to the weirdness of the world right now. Here are my favourites and I hope they’ll make you smile as much as they did me.

“I am the architect of my own browser history.”
“Today, I’m brimming with moisture and breath.”
“I’d rather be wonky than wanky.”
“A river of sheep washes away my anger and replaces it with warm jumpers.”
“From brain to bum I’m filled with brilliance and grace.”
“Peace always starts with pea.”
“I will bend barriers like Beckham.”
“Today I can notice the light change.”

For anyone struggling right now, for whatever reason, I send you energy, love and the “Bravado of a billion bears.”

A colourful geometric shape in a circle sits at the centre of this hand drawn digital image. In the centre of the circle white cursive text edged with multiple oculars reads: "I'd rather be wonky than wanky."

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