The Most Ridiculous Position To Date
Last night Will found me having a ‘ticcing fit’ in the most ridiculous position yet. On discovering me he said, ‘I can’t wait to hear how you ended up like this.’
He had to wait a while for an answer because the fit turned out to be a long and painful one. But as soon I’d recovered my speech I explained what had happened.
I’d been washing my hands in the bathroom. I’d pulled myself up into a standing position, supporting myself by leaning forward on the basin. But then I suddenly realised that my legs had gone rigid and a fit was starting. I couldn’t speak or shout so I decided to turn the basin tap on full blast in the hope that Will would hear and come to investigate.
My plank-like body was still vertical at this point, but then I started to lean over sideways until I finally toppled backwards, head first into the bath. As I went down I used what little movement I had in one arm to try and break my fall by grabbing at the wall – what I actually managed to do was turn the shower on.
My back and neck arched at such an extreme angle that I was pretty much face down in the slowly filling bath, my legs sticking up towards the ceiling, with two sources of running water going full pelt.
Thankfully Will quickly came to the rescue and manoeuvred me out of my tricky situation onto the relative safety of the bathroom floor. The fit continued and Will fantasised about a soft bathroom with rubber flooring and no hard edges.
I was distressed and shocked when Will found me, but his sensitive support kept me safe and his jokey banter kept me upbeat throughout.
This is one personal best (or worst) I’m in no hurry to beat.
Oh my, oh my… xxx