Top Gear presenter Jeremy Clarkson has been all over Twitter today after it emerged that he may have punched one of the show’s producers in the face. Leftwing Idiot and I were talking about it for a while earlier and eventually he got round to asking me what my tics had to say about it. Predictably that brought our conversation to an abrupt halt, and my tics took over.
“Clarkson is a pillar of the community if you think about Mohammed Ali and say it backwards.”
“Clarkson is like a hand grenade in a sandwich shop.”
“What do you get if you cross Jeremy Clarkson with a sausage? Nothing.”
“What do you get if you cross Jeremy Clarkson with Magaluf? A punch in the face.”
“Zen Mediation hotline, Jeremy Clarkson speaking.”
“Jeremy Clarkson stubbed his toe on the face of his producer.”
“Jeremy Clarkson, banging out cars, programmes and producers since 1982.”
“Jeremy Clarkson, speak to ACAS!”
And on that bombshell it’s time to end. Goodnight!