Let’s not beat about the bush – there’s only one thing right now that can make January bearable and that’s my penultimate tic-enriched, World of the Zodiac horoscope!

Aquarians, you’ve waited patiently and stood by as almost all the other star signs have had their turn – you’ve been adrift for months without proper guidance. Well, no more, sit back and enjoy your personal prediction.

This is the first horoscope where I’ve felt the need to supply a glossary.

Googlewhack: This is something I wasn’t consciously aware of at all and had to look up. It turns out it’s a term that describes the quest for a Google search query that consists of exactly two words and no quotation marks, that returns only one hit. You can find the rules of whacking here.

Googol whack: It’s possible that my tics were referring to a whacking number of Googols. A Googol is a very large number – 1.0 x 10100 or

10,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000.

Our Graham: This is of course a ticced reference to classic 1980s TV show Blind Date. Graham Skidmore, was the voice-over artist who summarised the qualities of each contestant and was always referred to ‘Our Graham’ by Cilla Black, the show’s host.

Nissan Micra: This is a type of car. Despite what my tics say, I have no strong opinions on its performance. You can read reviews here, or see what it would look like if batman drove one, here.

All this proves once again that Tourettes can be both fun and educational.

Join us again in a month for Pisces – the final ticced horoscope. You lucky fish.