Family Planning for Lamp-Posts

I had a long ‘ticcing fit’ in the early hours of this morning. To start with it was painful, but most of it wasn’t too bad – and my tics were being quite silly. One of the many strange ideas that emerged while I wriggled about on my bed was ‘family planning for lamp-posts’. Here’s how the conversation between Zoë and my tics rolled out:

TH: “Get a diaphragm for the lamp-post.”
Zoë: That’s a strange idea
TH: “Lamp-post family planning, it’s like the Lighthouse Family but for lamp-posts.”
Zoë: I wonder how it would work?
TH: “Cross your legs, lamp-posts. We don’t want Nunhead overrun with little lamp-posts.”
Zoë: But little lamp-posts sound so cute.
TH: “The only thing that lamp-posts have inside them is engineers’ hands.”
Zoë: Maybe lamp-posts have a special contraceptive light bulb?
TH: That’s a ridiculous idea!

Of course the idea of lamp-posts reproducing isn’t the least bit ridiculous.

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