Poppy was complaining about having period pains last night – my tics were quick to offer advice:
“You should have your uterus removed by a dove.’
“You should have your uterus bathed in milk and tucked up in bed with a hot chocolate.”
“You should have your uterus vacuumed by a Spanish waiter.”
“You should have your uterus parachuted out of an aerial photography plane at high altitude.”
“You should get your uterus back from the pawnbroker.”
“You should suspend your uterus from a high building and shout for help.”
These tics weren’t of much practical use to Pops, but they make her laugh.