Monthly Archives: November 2012

The Ninny Bus Formula

My tics have an amazing knack for latching on to a formula and producing a whole array of variations on a theme – much to the delight of my friends.

Let me explain.

Recently, for no reason at all, ‘Ninny … read more

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Normal Step

On the way home in the cab tonight Fran and I were talking about holidays we’d been on. I suddenly had a strong memory of walking round a hotel I’d been staying at several years ago.

What was unusual about … read more

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The Geranium Grows Up

Last night was the first time I’d been to Leftwing Idiot’s in a week or so. I went into the kitchen, sat down, swivelled round to face the geranium – and my tics immediately addressed it:

“Oh! Geranium, you’ve matured!”… read more

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Tourettesmobile Mark 4

When I first started thinking about getting a wheelchair it felt like a daunting and upsetting prospect, but the big decision to go for one turned out to be the easy bit. Finding a chair that could cope with both … read more

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How To Make a Wheelchair Sandwich

I was out shopping with Fat Sister and King Russell this afternoon when I started to have a ‘ticcing fit’. We were in the street and I was in my chair. My body arched up and my head … read more

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I started having a ‘ticcing fit’ earlier but was – as is often the case – reluctant to admit it. I’d got stuck on my hands and knees, with all my muscles locked in place. My arms were … read more



Yesterday I had a ‘ticcing fit’ at work during which my jaw locked tight shut. This was incredibly painful, but thankfully Leftwing Idiot was nearby and saw what was happening. He didn’t waste any time offering me my … read more

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In addition to “Hedgehog” (now being said with an unusual American accent) and “Brian” (with a slight Welsh accent) I’ve got a new regular tic, “London”, pronounced with a strong cockney accent so it sounds like … read more


All Change in the Morning

In addition to my excellent Access to Work support workers and the personal assistants I employ directly through my Individual budget, I also get help each morning from an agency carer.

For most of my support I prefer … read more

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At the launch party for my book ‘Welcome to Biscuit Land’ last month, just before I started my speech I ticced to the whole room, “Lets all go to Nando’s” to the tune of my old favourite I Came, I read more

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