I went to hang out and watch some TV at Leftwing Idiot’s this evening. When I arrived we sat in his kitchen and had a drink. While he did making the tea my tics had a chat with his geranium.

It’s been almost a year since this plant arrived in his flat and our turbulent relationship first began. My tics verbally abused it right from the start. Unusually, I wasn’t rude to it this evening, although I did raise my voice:

“Geranium you look lovely!”
“Geranium you’re looking a little less like a hooker tonight.”
“Geranium you’re a cutey.”
“What’s that sweetie?”
“You have to shout at the geranium, it’s a little bit deaf.”

I know it’s supposed to be good to talk to your plants but I’m not sure if I’m saying the right things.