A while ago I made a recording of a short sentence I was trying to say during a ticcing fit and the tics were so intrusive it took me six minutes to get my words out. This evening I’ve spent 45 minutes writing about a new group of physical tics that are proving equally tricky. In the end I asked Leftwing Idiot to write this section because it was taking me too long. From here on, this entry is exactly as I wrote it, uncorrected in the places where I lost control of my hands and arms:
“Shortly after I wokme up this morning x gcxcv I had a series of sudden contactiokmns in arms these were followed by similalyhbhjkl stong tics ijn my side jawb and shoulders. These carried on ioccasiuonaly thoughout thews morning but were well spaced out.
During lunch the freuquncyss and sdtrehngth intesifyied and they clistured tyuioijhgertyhger. Initially I tried to ignore them and carry on. I could feel that this was different to both normal tics or ticcing fits. It felt like a strange hibred and I found not knowing what was goiujmnhg on or how to explain what I was feelijng frightening.
Fran and Leftwijsng ididiot wewre with me but for the first little bit I felt quite on my own as I wasn’t able to communivcate succusfully what was haoppening. The probklem was thisn wasmn’t just neww tics but a new feeling and it took time for me to foind a way of describing it or what I wanted them to dfo. I knew that itgv was probably quite a digfficult sittiation for them because tp start with I ws behaving strangley without giving a clear explanatiomn.
The sensation was similar to those I experience during a fit but was much more localised and focused on the aeasa that was ticing. This is different bsz from during a fit when this happens similtaniously in multiple parts of my body or when I get a wriggly spine which makes my whole bodty move but which surges up my basck.
The discomfort kept happening very suddenly and each time was a shock. I had to fight hard not to overreact and make it worse. A coupke of times I doid react stongly and bit or scratched mysrelf. As I got used to the sensation it became less of a probelem. After a whiole I also began to be able to describe how oit felt.
Today’s new development also confussed me because it ke-pt stoping so I thoiuyght it was finished and then anoter bit of me would snap up suddenly. After a while it eased sufficentkly for me to carry on it has carried on at different intensities throughoiuytrt the afternoon and evening.
Tourettes is a shifying condtoion and tics often change. Sometimes this happens slowly as an evol≤≥µktion and sometimes it swipes in from the side while you’re having a sandwich.”