Leftwing Idiot and I dropped in on King Russell and Fat Sister in their new place earlier. We were sitting in the living room and King Russell was constructing some flat pack furniture. I found the noise of the drill really difficult to tolerate. It made me squeal and cover my ears.

Not long after, it was King Russell who was squealing and covering his ears. I was talking to Fat Sister about how I was going to have a long overdue smear test.

For a start, King Russell can’t cope with hearing the word ‘vagina’ so this conversation was always going to be difficult for him.

Smear tests are unpleasant at the best of times, but my main worry has been about staying still and not overreacting. Discussing the practicalities of all this was more than King Russell could manage.