Earlier this evening on my way to Leftwing Idiot’s, I stopped at the shop across the road to pick up a few things. I couldn’t fit everything into my bag so I carried the bag of Satsumas in my hand.

Leftwing Idiot unpacked the shopping while I took my coat off. He started shouting about the Satsumas being no good. “Really?’ I said, “What’s wrong with them? I thought they were fine.” I went into the kitchen where he was holding up a collection of battered Satsumas. “Did you smash them?” he asked.

“Um yes, I remember, I had to carry them, and I may have hit my chest with them – but only a few times,” I answered sheepishly.

It didn’t affect their taste though – they were still delicious.