My mate Ollie’s just cooked a massive meal. For dessert we had ice-lollies. More of mine ended up on my forehead than in my mouth because I kept bashing my head with it. Fat Sister took it away and gave me some tissues. A few moments later she said, “Is it wrong that a tiny bit of me feels that that was justice for the banana incident?”

She was referring to a time when we were children and I hit her over the head with a banana. I’m glad that fifteen years later she finally feels I’ve got my just desserts!