This morning I overheard a conversation between Fat Sister and a friend of ours who’d stayed the night on the sofa in the living room. He’d heard me screeching and called out to my sister in the kitchen:

Sofa Mate: Are you OK?
Fat Sister: Yes I’m fine. Screaming in this house doesn’t mean anything’s wrong. It just means my sister’s awake. Morning fish.
Sofa Mate: Sorry I forgot.
TH: Morning!

Of course the screeching is only the start of it. The rest of the day brought a “Hairy-wombed fish”, a “Chipmunk raised to eat crisps” and a “Spirit level for your soul.”