Ejaculation of the Day

“Boiling green Kermit cum.”

Also ran:

“Basket weaving with God.”

“I put your mum out of business.”

“Dogging with a duvet.”

I went with my friends Ben and Ruth to hang out at the pub where Leftwing Idiot was DJing tonight. While I was having a drink I ticced and threw my glass on the floor. Afterwards I said to Ben, “I was just about to ask you to take it off me, but I wanted to manage on my own.” He said, “I was just about to take it off you, but I didn’t want to interfere.”

As the shattered remains of my wine glass were swept up around me I realised it would have been a lot less embarrassing asking for help.

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