I went swimming the other day with my friend and support worker Zoë. We were gliding along next to each other, chatting as we swam.

All of a sudden I ticced “I had sex with a cat.” Zoë turned towards me and said excitedly, ‘Really?’…

“Your mother was a testicle,
Your father was a bear,
Between them they had a lot of flowing facial hair.”

“Electrical testicle, tearing up the night,
Glowing brighter than a lamp-post in a knight’s 10-denier tights.”

“Imagine playing Tetris with the testis of an ant,
a soundscape made of rhinos and Satsumas for a glove.”

In yesterday’s post, I mentioned a rocky ‘ticcing fit’ I’d had that morning which had involved Kyle giving Will, who was supporting me, a hand. This was because my body was moving with such force I was shifting furniture about, knocking plants over and otherwise re-arranging the foyer of our office.…

We’re seven days into 2015 and so far my tics have contributed:

An alternative version of the Bohemian Rhapsody, eight unconventional uses for peanut butter, some imagination-enhancing mental imagery, and a recipe for caramelised onion and peach meringue.

Not wanting any of these valuable nuggets to get overshadowed by events later on I’m recording them all here for posterity.…

The festive season’s usually a good time for watching films on TV, but this year I’ve seen hardly any from start to finish. I have, though, caught bits here and there when they’ve been on in the background.

Oddly, there’s one film – Jurassic Park 2 – that I’ve caught in snatches several times.…

I’ve had my all-terrain wheelchair for over a year now. I use it all the time at work, it keeps me moving at music festivals, and it’s taken me up Arthur’s Seat in Edinburgh. But I’ve never fully tested its all-terrain credentials until now.…

We arrived in Scotland as the sun was setting. The snowy mountains we could see from the plane were mesmerising, with pools of bright light on seemingly untouched snow contrasting with patches of dark dense forest. From above, paths cutting confidently through the trees looked easily accessible.…

As we speed ever closer to Christmas there’s festive spirit all over the place – something my tics have picked up on in their typically bizarre way. They’ve started going on about spirit levels!

Yep, as in the tool that lets you know if something’s level or not.…

My friend Zoë’s been one of my support workers for over two years. We know each other really well and I feel happy and safe when I’m with her. I often affectionately call her ‘Zo-bags’ and earlier today this name took on a new meaning.…

At the beginning of last month we launched a competition to find the most popular of my tics. I’ve already got some established favourites myself like, “Replace every chimney in London with a penguin” and “I love it when a bear comes together.”…