Over a year ago now my GP made a request for me to receive Habit Reversal Therapy (HRT). I’ve been keen to try this option since I heard about it because it could help me replace some of my more damaging tics with ones that have less physical or social impact.…

Friends and strangers are constantly misquoting me. For example:

“Figs on crisps” which was actually “Fingers on crisps.”

“Squirrel humper” which was actually “Squirrel lover.”

“Titty-wank your bank manager” which was actually “Titty-fuck your bank manager.”

“Hot green Kermit wank” which was actually “Boiling green Kermit cum.”…

Tonight Fat Sister was talking about her day and describing how she and a colleague at work had been playing around. He had pretended to hit her and when she didn’t respond he said, “You’ve got shit reflexes – you didn’t move!”…

While a lot of my tics are random and funny, occasionally they come across as just rude or mean. It doesn’t happen very often but sometimes I’ll suddenly say something like “Bitch”, “Fuck you” or “Wanker.” These are much closer to the stereotype of Tourettes than the majority of my tics.…

I hung out with Owain, the Tourettes-loving toddler, again this evening. I was saying, “Bye, bye” a lot but he soon got used to the idea that I wasn’t going anywhere. He was also fascinated by my boxing gloves and enjoyed trying them on.…

A few days ago I got an email from a company who print personalised t-shirts. They were promoting a new service which lets people design their own flip flops.

This was an offer I couldn’t refuse, so I ordered three pairs saying “Flip flops are for wankers”, a pair for King Russell, a pair for Leftwing Idiot and a pair for Fat Sister.…

I spoke to Laura on the phone earlier. She said she was finding the new way I say “Bye, bye” (in a low and raspy voice) quite disconcerting. She said I sounded like a sex pest.

We talked about my new transport arrangements to and from work.…

It’s two weeks until King Russell’s birthday.

I bought his present – an expensive but brilliant Star Wars Storm Trooper cap – about two months ago. He loves Star Wars and has lots of clothing featuring characters from the films. A particular favourite of his is a Storm Trooper t-shirt that he wears regularly.…

I was looking at Twitter this evening and came across this tweet from three days ago:

“Managed not to laugh at the Tourettes woman on the tube who mentioned: squirrel, batman, squirrel humper, piss and Basic Instinct.”

There’s little doubt that the woman in question was me.…

I felt much better this morning, and this afternoon I went swimming with Harry. Harry’s a friend of ours who lives nearby with her boyfriend Ollie.

“Ollie has hair.”

It’s been baking hot in London so we went straight to Hampstead Swimming Ponds, complete with ducks, geese and moorhens.…