Tics

Often funny, sometimes shocking, Touretteshero’s surreal and unusual tics are here. Search by keyword, category, or both to find a tic.

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Fuck off lamp-post - shining light into my womb.
Droplets of rain lining up on my window to sparkle in the night.
In the bleak midwinter, Corn Flakes is not a substantial breakfast.
Good afternoon you dense sky of milk.
Before Hovercraft there were four Avon ladies who carried people across the channel on their stomachs.
Cover up Pamela Anderson.
I’d like someone to stop playing Cat’s Cradle on me.
There’s a squirrel of salvation but it’s too busy collecting nuts for winter.
Is it easier to wind up Billy Connolly or Margaret Thatcher’s vagina?
My cunt’s not wining, it’s dead.