Tics

Often funny, sometimes shocking, Touretteshero’s surreal and unusual tics are here. Search by keyword, category, or both to find a tic.

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My thoughts have squared up with my voice and decided to flee.
Fuck off lamp-post, who said you could stand there?
I’d make a thousand children have better lunchboxes tomorrow.
If I could make a thousand bins talk about a lion I wouldn’t bother.
The tree spends all day moving and never gets anywhere.
The tree isn’t waving at you, it’s drowning.
I feel sorry for the tree when its branches bash itself.
I’m being moved by a force as powerful as the wind but less interesting than a complex tie-dye t-shirt.
I wish I was being jiggled by the wind and blown backwards and forwards by an understandable force.
My mind is present but my voice is a shuttlecock in a badminton match between God and an ambassador of whale’s cocks.