I was chatting with my dad on the phone earlier. He’s obviously used to our conversations being peppered with tics including lots of swearing which he never mentions. Today’s conversation was no exception. While talking I described something using a swearword.…

I’ve re-entered a head-banging phase. Not the music-related-throwing-your-hair-about type but the fist-to-head variety. This has happened intermittently before but has become pretty regular over the last couple of days. The head banging doesn’t stop if my hand contains an object. Already today I’ve hit my forehead with: a phone, a carton of apple juice, a set of keys, a toilet roll dispenser and a strawberry.…

Ku Klung Klung might not mean anything to most of you, but there will be a few people reading this who might recognise it as a tune by Red Dragon. The track is apparently about what it sounds like when you have sex with a skinny girl.…

“Die Hard with a Pension.”

I was walking home quite late the other night and there were two men fighting on the street. As I approached, squeaking, they both stopped and looked at me, and one of them asked very directly “What’s that about then?” I said “Tourettes Syndrome.”…

I was on a bus at lunchtime. There were a couple of men near me and we’d all been there for some time. I’d already said, “Sweat like a leopard on speed.” I’d noticed the two men laugh at this and a few other things.…

I was coming home with Fat Sister, King Russell and Harry after an evening out, when Harry asked, “Is that our dog?” There was no dog. She’d meant to say ‘Bus stop’. King Russell remarked, “See, I always said that Tourettes was infectious.”…

This evening I went and hung out with some friends on Keir’s canal boat. As we were chugging along we started to play ‘I Spy’. This is a game for which I have no natural aptitude.

TH: I spy with my little eye, something beginning with…water.…

The sun was shining and so were the young people of South London.

There’s no one group of people who appear to be more or less understanding of Tourettes than anyone else, but today the youth seemed to be particularly supportive.…

“Search for my soul in a database made of hay.”