“Did God like the rainbow you made him?”

A few days ago I called a company that makes boxing equipment to find out if they had any products that might limit the damage to my hands and face caused by some of my current physical tics. The man I spoke to was lovely.…

At the moment I’m not taking any regular medication for Tourettes. In the past I’ve tried various drugs, but when they stopped working I decided to have a go without them. That was about two years ago. I’m currently reconsidering this decision.…

This evening I’ve been making images based on some of my tics. I’ve made models of some common household items that I’ve re-branded:

“Kellogg’s Krispie Cunts.”

“Kellogg’s Righteous Krispies.”

“Kellogg’s Life Krispies.”

“Mild Green Fairy Worm Cum.”

“Pesto, Pesto, Piss.”

It’s been a pretty random day.

I overslept.

“I have a face made of Plasticine and poo.”

Not quite, but my face is very bruised from where I’ve been banging it.

Nobody’s won the election.

I went to work.

I split a bag of concrete over my head.…

I went to vote this morning but I accidentally voted for the wrong candidate. My arm ticced while I was completing my ballot paper and I selected a candidate I would never have chosen. I was given a fresh sheet and managed to finish the job without further incident.…

“I’d like a hovercraft in my head – bust out the beach.”

Before the channel tunnel there used to be a hovercraft service to France. Now there’s only one remaining public hovercraft route in the UK – Portsmouth to the Isle of Wight.…

My knuckles are giving in. The skin has eroded on my hands where I bang them against my chest to a point where they are cracked and bleeding despite me wearing fingerless cycling gloves to protect them. This skin damage makes banging my chest hundreds of times an hour even more painful.…

I was on the bus earlier and an older woman got on. She was beautiful: glamorously dressed, really tall and sporting an amazing grey Afro. As she walked past me to reach a free seat I squawked. The woman turned, looked at me and smiled warmly.…

The lair was buzzing with activity this evening as we played host to some Bank Holiday fun including a roast dinner, poker and Robocop. Here’s a quick summary of the evening through tics:

“I have a king and an eight.”

“I have a five and a three.”…