“Banksy’s love juice tasted like Creosote.”

I nearly knocked myself out when I went to the toilet by lurching forward on the loo and hitting my head on the basin. Fortunately I was wearing a new cap so I was one step ahead of my Tourettes on this occasion.

Yesterday I explained that I had two pineapples in my kitchen that were going off. They needed to be cut up but I wasn’t able to do it safely on my own. I shared the problem with Harry earlier and she stopped by the lair and sliced them up for me.…

There are two pineapples in the kitchen left over from last week’s party. They’re on the turn and need to be eaten soon.

I really fancy pineapple for breakfast this morning but no one’s around to help me cut them up.…

I was at the checkout in a supermarket this afternoon and an elderly woman walked past as I squeaked and hit my chest. She stopped and looked at me while I continued to squeak so I smiled at her. The woman asked me if I was alright and I said I was.…

A couple of days ago I got a copy of a letter to my GP from my neurologist. In the letter he describes how my tics are affecting the way I walk. He said it looked like “The Ministry of Silly Walks.”…

It’s been baking hot in London and along with everybody else, I’ve been out enjoying the sunshine. It seems like the better the weather the more unusual the questions become:

Man at a bus stop: Are you a spastic?

TH: No, I don’t have Cerebral Palsy.…

Yesterday Leftwing Idiot loaned me an inner lining for a sleeping bag to see if it would help control my tics at night. I’ve been trying to wrap myself up in my duvet in an attempt to limit my movements. I slept inside it last night and although I still moved around, it wasn’t with the same ferocity.…

Fat Sister and I did more yoga this morning with Giedre. During the session I discovered some of the contents from the piñata we’d had at the party on Saturday lurking under the sofa:

“I see Smarties.”

“I see two Smarties.”…

I’ve mentioned the help I get from Access to Work in previous entries. Today was the first day I was joined by my support worker. He’ll be helping me at work a couple of times a week by coming to meetings and events with me and taking notes or typing for me.…