I went to Leftwing Idiot’s for dinner tonight and he cooked us a lovely meal. While I was waiting I sat in his kitchen where he keeps his geranium. Regular readers will know about my tics’ strange compulsion to be rude to this plant ever since its arrival almost three years ago, and it won’t be any surprise to hear that as usual I started shouting at it. But this time it was different …

For no reason that I can fathom my tics chose this evening to make amends to the geranium. Instead of shouting abuse they apologised to it, through the medium of song! The chorus, which I repeated many times, went something like this:

“Oh geranium, I’m sorry that I laughed,
Oh geranium you really are a very pretty plant,
Geranium, I love you geranium, I do,
Geranium, you are man’s best friend”

I’ve got no idea whether or not this will really mark an end to hostilities towards the geranium. We’ll all have to wait and see, though Leftwing Idiot’s understandably sceptical.