Instructions Of A Testicular Nature

The other night as I got ready for bed my vocal tics were distracted from their usual focus. The lamp-post I normally chat to as part of my bedtime routine was let off the hook for a change, to… read more

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Hello Ancient Sky

Fifty-eight years ago Jack Kerouac wrote On The Road on a single roll of paper and it became the bible of the Beat Generation. Yesterday evening I went to the Post Office with Will and on the way composed my… read more

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Fat Cat Sister

Last night I stayed with Fat Sister and King Russell. While we were having breakfast this morning King Russell suggested that Fat Sister was in fact part cat. My tics happily took up the challenge of listing her other ingredients,… read more

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Laughing Gear

Top Gear presenter Jeremy Clarkson has been all over Twitter today after it emerged that he may have punched one of the show’s producers in the face. Leftwing Idiot and I were talking about… read more

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I’ll Be…

Fat Sister was on the phone to my dad earlier, discussing the on-going work on her bathroom. She had to go next door because every time she started a sentence with ‘I’ll…’ my tics made an inappropriate suggestion about what… read more

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It’s The Way I Tell ‘em

Poppy and I have been hanging out today and a while ago she had an exchange with my tics that had her in stitches. Here’s how it went:

TH: You know Peter?
Poppy: Peter who?
TH: Peter-borough. He… read more

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A New Song about Aladdin

For no obvious reason my tics love Aladdin, so when we decided to take Backstage in Biscuit Land to Edinburgh last year, I kept saying that’s what we were going to do it wasn’t out of character. At… read more

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Year of the Goat-Sheep

When I took my midnight medication as yesterday turned into today I shouted:

“Happy New Sheep!”

My tics are rarely in context but on this occasion my timing was perfect – today is Chinese New Year. Each year is represented… read more

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Dear Canada …

This evening Leftwing Idiot and I met up with the people who are putting on the event I’ll be talking at on Sunday. They were all incredibly friendly and relaxed despite having so much… read more

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“Canada Goose, Where’s Your Socks?”

I’m going to bed this evening full of excitement, and unusually it’s got nothing to do with the lamp-post outside my bedroom window. No, this time it’s because tomorrow morning Leftwing Idiot and I are flying to Toronto. We’re going… read more

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