Before I moved into the lair I lived with Emma. We were flatmates for nine years. She’s probably the only person other than Fat Sister who’s always unfazed by my tics, although her approach is different. Fat Sister never really seems to notice them but Emma calmly talks back or shares random related facts with them.

Years ago I used to say “Lake” and Emma always insisted in naming a lake each time I ticced. She said it was an educational opportunity.

Today I met up with her and as a result I now know a lot more than most people about fish and the ethical dilemmas of reduced price fishcakes.